Great Advent Resource

I downloaded this awesome Advent application last year on my iPhone called simply, Advent '08. It's a collection of daily readings, prayers, and hymns that correspond to the liturgical reading cycle for the Advent season. One of the things I loved so much about the application last year was the historic christian art that was used with each daily reading and the deep, rich devotional quality to the readings/prayers.

This year, the author/editor of this wonderful compilation is not releasing Advent '09 as an iphone application but is posting daily advent readings on this advent blog. I think you'll enjoy it completely. I've been reading version '08 to my kids and then reading the '09 version on my own.

The introduction to the Advent blog says this:

Advent is a time of preparation and anticipation of the birth of Jesus. Advent is a time of sobriety in the face of His return. The rhythm of American life, especially in the holiday season, seldom leaves time for adequate preparation. Adequate, however, does not imply the amount of time spent, as much as it refers to focus and attention. It is more than just a way to count down the days to Christmas; it is a way to help transform Advent into a journey of faith. It is a way to help prepare for the coming of Jesus to live among us, so that the good news of Christmas morn lingers on long after the packages are opened. It is our hope and prayer that the Holy Spirit would lead you through the Scriptures to a newfound wonder of Emmanuel, Jesus Christ, Savior of the world. May the Lord bless you on your journey.

sampling from Advent '08

God of Love, You made Your home among us. By faith we believe in You and in baptism we have received You and from Your hand we have received grace upon grace. Grant us, by that same grace, Your truth to dwell within our hearts that we may live in Your peace, not as the world understands, but that peace which only You can give. This we are bold to pray through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

sampling of Advent '09

Lord have mercy,
Christ have mercy,
Lord have mercy.
O Lord hear my prayer.
And let my cry come to You.
Lord God of heaven and earth who alone is worthy to judge all peoples according to their deeds, have mercy upon us for Christ’s sake! We cannot attain to the standard of Your righteousness as You have revealed it to us in Your Law and through the mouths of Your Prophets. Merciful God hide us beneath the banner of Your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ and by His blood wash us so that we may be whiter than snow and cleansed from all unrighteousness. Merciful Father You delayed Your final judgement of our sin until in the fullness of Your time our Lord was revealed. According to Your steadfast love towards us You placed the burden of our guilt upon the shoulder’s of Your Son, so that having warned us of the judgment yet to come You have called us not fulfill the requirements of the law ourselves, but to trust in Your Son who has done so on our behalf. For His sake preserve until You yet again bring time to completion and send Your holy angels out to gather the last harvest. Father, You have grafted us onto the Vine, continue to change our hearts we pray, by making us ever new after the fashion of our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, One Holy God, both in this world and the one that is to come. Amen.

So, go here and be blessed.

Thanks to Rev. Scott Ryll for this rich devotional tool.

All hymns used in the devotional are taken from the Lutheran Service Book and scripture readings are taken from the ESV.

The Theology of Harry Potter

::Spoiler Alert::

Though I'm guessing that most of you who are going to read them

have already!

The first Harry Potter book, The Sorcerer's Stone, was released in 1997, when my son Taylor was 7 years old. I bought the first book and we read the first five or so chapters aloud before I began to hear the siren calls that the book was demonic, full of witchcraft, and ought to be renounced by christians. I obeyed the cry of James Dobson and others to keep the book safely from my children-----until last Monday. I'm also ashamed to say that I likely criticized J.K. Rowling during the last twelve years without knowing much about her and certainly without reading the series or watcing the movies for myself---all the while, secretly wondering if I was misguided in my uneducated summation of her work. In retrospect, I don't think that was a very academic or even a very christian thing to do. I've had to do a similar sort of eye-opening on many subjects since I've become Lutheran, so I'm accustomed to the routine of relearning, of challenging old dogma that once ruled the day in my life.

So, after twelve years in exile, I resurrected the first book and the little girls and I are reading it ravenously. Perfect for the upcoming Thanksgiving holidays. I'm not sure what first kindled my interest in Harry Potter again but I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm taking my 17 year old to see New Moon tonight----another series of books with themes that some have called 'questionable' for christians. You can listen to a distintively christian review of the Twilight Series here, which I highly recommend, but that'll have to be another post for another day.

Imagine my surprise when I find this series of interviews between Todd Wilken and Dr. Rick Stuckwisch on the Harry Potter books; both of whom are Lutheran pastors I highly respect. And whether or not you've read the books or renounced them from your lives, I think you'd find the interviews enlightening. First, J.K. Rowling is not only an extremely well-educated and brilliant writer, but she is a christian. She has openly admitted to the christological themes in the books and not unlike C.S. Lewis, has purposely set out to be subtle with these themes so that the books would have a broader reach and appeal---possibly to engage those who would otherwise be repulsed by a book with overtly christian ideas. Furthermore, she has been harshly criticized for using magic {which she uses as a literary device---akin to the use of technology in the Star Trek series} by the same christians who gladly let their kids read Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia and Tolkeins' Lord of the Rings; both of which are full of 'miracles' and magic.

And given her christian heritage, it shouldn't surprise us that in the 7th and last book {the number of completion in the Bible} Harry dies, giving himself up out of love and mercy for others----then rises again----not unlike Aslan in the Narnia series. It also seems that even without the themes of mercy and self-sacrifice, the story is compelling in its' own right----a story of an orphan boy who grows up in a world full of good and evil and his journey in learning to navigate his often treacherous circumstances.

As I thought about all the hype surrounding these books, especially ten years ago, I found it sadly ironic that had I chosen to continue with the series at the time, I might have found more theological truth in them than I found on any given Sunday at the church I attended. {I've since changed churches}. At the very same time that I was so critical of Harry Potter, I tolerated regular preaching and teaching that more often than not, was much more pop psychology than it was Christ-centered theology. I condemned Harry Potter---who turns out to be somewhat of a Christ-type character while sitting by unaffected, watching the oprafication of my church take place. "7 Steps to a Better You" or "40 Days of Purpose" is not the gospel. If I had been as critical of the handling of God's Word as I was of Rowlings' handling of magic, I might have spared myself some years of agony. But then the themes of the scripture that run so clearly through our lives, and often so clearly in good literature, are unchanging. We struggle for truth. We wage war----often at the wrong enemy. In the end, it is only in dying that we are raised to life. The true enemy is defeated. Not with swords. Or magic. Or by 'my best life now'.

But by the vicarious atonement of Another.

Redemption is really the only story of mankind. {to paraphrase C.S. Lewis}

And perhaps we should rejoice wherever we find it.

* I saw these owl cupcakes online after doing a google search and just used chocolate cupcakes decorated with oreos for eyes, pecans covered in chocolate icing for ears and candy corn for nose. The Hogwarts students often have owls for 'pets'.

Making a Jesse Tree

Oh, come, strong Branch of Jesse, free

Thine own from Satan's tyranny;

From depths of hell Thy people save

And give them vict'ry o'er the grave.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to Thee, O Isreal.

The first Sunday in Advent falls on November 29 but with the all the yummies to be made and tables to be decorated for Thankgiving, we're getting a head start on our Jesse Tree. A Jesse Tree is an advent tree---decorated with symbols of our spiritual heritage---a way to celebrate the coming {advent means 'come'} of our Lord Jesus. He comes to us in several ways; first as a baby in a manger, then in Word and Sacrament on every Lord's day, and finally in His last 'coming' in judgement.

How to make a Jesse Tree

1. Purchase a small Christmas tree to use as your Jesse tree.

2. Order this book from Amazon which has all the symbols and scriptures that you can cut out and personalize/bedazzle/glitter-up.

3. Tear the pages out.

4. Cut out the Jesse Tree decorations which will have the appropriate scripture on the back.

5. Bedazzle the front of the ornament.

6. When the time comes to hang the ornaments on the tree {they are labeled by week and day} read the appropriate scriptures and readings.

7. Hang the ornament on your Jesse tree and await His glorious coming.

8. Have your children sing "O Come O come Emmanuel" and your heart will melt into a puddle.

The Story

I find that there's a certain sense in which things are more than they appear. On the surface, I'm just painting another room. But then the emotions rush in and I wonder if this color therapy is one of many ways the creative heart heals itself. Am I forging a safe cocoon where the boundaries are clear and the dark days must be embraced for the beauty and transformation they inevitably bring? Am I declaring to my life-love that this space, these days, this passion is important. I won't take it for granted. I won't give it what's left over. I will boldly declare----with strokes of painted love----that I am in this-----heart and soul.

So, maybe it's just walls and brick and mortar. Maybe it's just paint and pictures and 20 year old furniture.

Or perhaps it's more? Perhaps it helps to tell our story. The story of loss and love and passion and triumph and forgiveness and brokenness. The story of one deeply stained who has been graciously redeemed. The story of one who has been baptized into death, to walk in newness of life.

What if your walls could speak? What story would they tell?

This project is still in progress so I'll be forthcoming with colors, etc. I listened to Brandi Carlile's new album while I painted this weekend----another form of wonderful therapy. Her song Pride and Joy is unbelievably powerful and speaks of the complicated relationship we have with our children and parents. She's coming to the Bijou Theatre in Knoxville Feb. 10th. Girls night out anyone? The first time I heard her song 'The Story' , I was reminded that there is something in music and art in general that touches on the divine. And everytime I hear this song, I'm so thankful for Steve---who knows my story----and loves me anyway.

OH, and the winner of the 'live life in grace' necklace: Sara from Upon Suggestion! Congratulations Sara. Send me an email with your address and I'll mail you your lovely necklace!

Here We Stand

Why did Martin Luther nail those 95 theses to the door of the church in Wittenberg? Why did he risk his very life so boldly at the Diet of Worms when he said, "I cannot and will not recant. Here I stand. God help me"?

One reason.

For the sake of the gospel of Christ.

Help us Lord to stand with You, to hold firm to Your eternal truths, to be captive to the gospel of Christ---which is the power of God unto salvation.

Lord God, who after long ages of darkness delivered the church from the bondage of error, we thank You for those faithful witnesses through whom you restored the gospel of Christ to men and we praise You that this blessed light has been preserved for us to this present age. We thank You for making known among us the Holy Scriptures which are able to make us wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus, our only mediator.

Defend Your church against all her foes. Seek and save the lost and all who have gone astray. Preserve among us the pure Word and holy sacraments; turn our hearts from false and pernicious doctrine. Direct and strengthen us by Your Holy Spirit that we may abide in the confession of Your word all the days of our lives and in the end, by Your grace, obtain everlasting life. This we pray in the name of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Starting at Zero

I wasn't sure if or when I would write again. Sometimes the murmurings of the heart are almost impossible to put to words. A dark looming cloud has been shrouding my heart for what seems like months, making it hard to even take a deep breath. It seemed a betrayal of myself to write about something other than my current loss and a disservice to you to continue beleaguering what, for all practical intents and purposes, ought to be a normal phase of life. But with blended families, it's a little different. Steve and I have been married nine years and feel so blessed to find ourselves here, sheltered by the love of God and each other, and even blessed with two children of our own. But our older kids have traveled a weary path.

There is always the nagging guilt that every trial and heartache is a result of the broken family---divorce wreaks havoc like a tsunami and long past the initial destruction, waves of shame and self-reproach plague its' victims in relentless agony. The only relief I find is the profound gift of grace in God's word and sacraments. And even then, I doubt, at times, that He can forgive us----that He can heal us and the broken hearts of the children that were left in the wake of this storm. We are profoundly blessed to be where we are, but we know that it is only by the tender mercy of our Father that He is restoring us to Himself. We pray that somehow, someway our children will learn to forgive us for our failures.

We failed to keep our promises.

We failed to fight for them.

We failed to provide them with the one thing they needed most, parents who don't give up.

We grieve for them today. For the lost time together. For the nurturing and teaching and loving that was cut short. We hope that somehow, in our own repentance before God, they will see in our vulnerability, a path to honesty---a path first trodden by Christ himself---that’s leads to life, even after what seems like surely has been death. We long for restoration and realize that the cross is our only hope. He is a God who redeems and restores. He atones for our sin and gives us the blessed, undeserved gift of forgiveness.

Parenting, of all relationships, must be continually shaped by this same mercy. It is in this most intimate relationship that we often commit our gravest trespasses. We are terse when we should be kind, busy when we should listen, absent when we should be present, self-righteous when we should be humble, and often forget that it is this very 'neighbor' that God has placed in our path to care for and nurture as a service to the Lord Himself. There is a connection we have to our children that is baffling. When they're hurting, we feel their pain in a visceral way, even when words fail to justly tell their story.

I read this today from the book Beautiful Boy and knew it was time to write.

We are connected to our children no matter what. They are interwoven into each cell and inseparable from every neuron. They supercede our consciousness, dwell in our every hollow and cavity and recess with our most primitive instincts, deeper even than our identities, deeper even than our selves.

So, as three of our kids leave this patched up little nest in the span of a week, no wonder it's hard to sleep. No wonder the days have been colored with a blue haze. We laugh a little less and long for brighter days. We miss them like a part of our own bodies has been severed. Now, we wonder if this is what it feels like to always be without someone you love.

God, forgive us for our selfishness.

Clothe our children in your mercy.

Bind their broken hearts.

***************

I'm thankful the story doesn't end there. Finally and without warning, the storm begins to recede. The sun breaks through a thick dark veil of clouds, slowly releasing the chokehold, and reminds us that though weeping may endure for a night; Joy comes in the morning. He is stronger than our doubt. He holds on when we can't. He anchors us to Himself---He forgives us and makes us whole. In Him alone, we find meaning in the suffering and hope in the despair. He has done for us what we could never do for ourselves and we stand humbled and repentant in the light of His 'glorious grace'. We pray that our children will all come to share in that same mercy and trust in the only One who always keeps His promises.

'For He is good and His mercy endures forever'. Amen.


Note: This is our particular story and our particular pain. We are not making blanket judgements about divorce--but the children are always the ones who suffer. No amount of rationalizing takes this pain away for us and our children. We can do nothing now but throw our hands up and plead guilty. It has been the most painful and yet the most freeing confession we have ever made. And Steve and I often marvel at how God could, after all our wandering and idolatry, restore us to Himself and to the joys of Christian marriage. It is almost unfathomable. Then we remember the tremendous price that was exacted for our forgiveness and we know that this is how our Father works. He loves us, He has watched for us, planned for us to return home. And as we sit at His table, hearts full to the brim with gratitude, we know that our restoration is made possible by Christ, and Him alone.

***************

Taylor started his first day of college this week. Caiti seems to be enjoying her new school (she moved with Taylor---both with their dad---about an hour away). Pray for us all as we adjust. A couple of years ago, Taylor had to do an English project where he had to name the 6 most significant events in his life and then pick a song to correspond to each event. The first time I saw it written on paper, the pain I felt for him was nearly unbearable.

"My parents divorce: Zero by Hawk Nelson."

It was months later before I could bring myself to listen to the song. I cried most of the day. I'm so thankful for Cindy, who was like an angel from heaven. It reminded me that though we move on and the days seem to pass pleasantly by, the kids live with it daily----as they must learn to navigate two lives and always without someone they love. I am grateful that the grace of God has sheltered and sustained them in faith and mercy and that He is teaching us to live in forgiveness as the very breath we breathe. Starting at zero.

Thank you for your prayers

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Landslide

The days come one after another without my permission. If you asked me to articulate precisely my thoughts and emotions as I wander along in this 'valley', I could not. When Caiti was eight years old, we drove across the Blue Ridge Mountains listening and singing with reckless abandon to "Landslide" from our favorite Dixie Chicks album. Today, I wonder if I'm caught in a landslide of my own. For sure, I've lost my footing.

I'm taking a little break to reconcile things a bit, in my heart and in my head. When the dust settles, I am confident I'll find that there was One who sheltered me, hemmed me in, stood in the gap for me, and placed me on solid ground.

If you have struggles of your own today, maybe you'll join me in this prayer (taken from the Lutheran prayer book)

Lord, have mercy. Christ,have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Merciful Father, You know how difficult these days are for me. In Your holy word You have promised to hear those who cry unto You in the day of trouble. Listen to my cries for mercy and send me help from the sanctuary of Your grace. Preserve me from bitterness of spirit, and rescue me from every temptation to despair. Calm my frustrations with the knowledge that my life is secure in Your redeeming love, for I am baptized into the death and resurrection of Your Son. Draw me out of self-centered worry, which stifles faith, and cause me to take comfort in the great and precious promises that You have made to me and all believers in the Gospel. Sustain and strengthen me under every cross and affliction, that Your grace might be made perfect in my weakness. Give me confidence to pray without losing heart and to trust in Your mighty deliverance according to Your good and gracious will. Father, into Your hands I commend myself. Hear me, for the sake of Your Son, who alone is my Savior. Amen.

Post edit: I'm joining Darcy's bloghop this week, featuring homeschool room's. Click here to see how real mom's make their spaces work.

Happy One Year Anniversary to Issues,Etc.!

It's no secret.   We're BIG fans of IssuesEtc.  BIG fans.   Our children hum the 'bump' music as they play,  'Todd' and 'Jeff' are household names that need no further clarification.  And if we're talking about Steve's brother 'Jeff', we say 'BrotherJeff', so as not to confuse him with our friend, 'Jeff' Schwarz.  (A big thank-you to BrotherJeff, by the way, for introducing us to Issues). We're warming up to Craig (the newest addition to the crew), but I don't think the children would recognize Craig in a line-up yet.  They could pick out Todd and Jeff in a heartbeat, especially by 'voice' recognition.   They speak as fondly of them as they do their own uncles.   Keep up the good work though Craig, they'll come around.  And if we weren't such blasted procrastinators, we'd probably be on a plane to St. Louis by now to celebrate with our friends in person.  But here we sit.   Stevie in his Issues t-shirt and I with my mug, thinking back to all the great theological, political, and current 'issues' we've pondered over the past three years.  Most of all, I think, Issues has taught us, from the scriptures, the depth of our depravity.  We've learned one thing for sure.   We have 'issues'.   And lots of 'em.  

But we're making strides......

We're trying healthy drinks (in our Issues mug).....

and light Lutheran beverages.......

and parenting by grace.......

.....even our marriage has been strengthened to the point that we staged a small ceremony on Sunday to renew our vows and do the traditional wedding toast.....Issues style.

Okay, I'm just kidding, that's exactly what you WON'T get from Issues, etc-----How to be a better you.   What you will get is Christ-centered, cross-focused talk radio, where the gospel of Christ is always the answer.   This truly is 'talk radio for the thinking christian'.   They cover current issues such as gay marriage, stem-cell research, abortion,  current fads and trends in American christianity, and many other culturally relevant topics, including  book and movie reviews and in-depth analyses of other world religions.  They also follow the liturgical calendar and teach about historical figures and events in the churchs' past always highlighting  events and teachings in the life of Jesus.   And our favorite is the theological topics that are so well taught such as Justification, Baptism, the biblical view of marriage, the Lord's Supper, Worship,  the Theology of the Cross, Sanctification, the Ten Commandments, the Fall,  eschatology,  Creation, Apologetics, Redemption, Two kingdom theology, Vocation and the list could go on all day!   This show is a treasure of excellent scholarship, with similiar benefits to attending a college of higher learning, without ever having to leave your house.

The host is Todd Wilken, a Lutheran pastor, who is the most gifted, well-spoken, scholarly interviewer I've ever had the privilege of hearing.  He's also an excellent speaker and preacher in his own right and has such a brilliant way of  'getting to the heart of the matter'  on almost any topic.   And Steve and I marvel all the time at how Jeff Schwarz, the producer, can possibly produce a schedule that is always packed with such relevant topics along with well-trained, gifted speakers who are experts in their particular fields.  They provide ten hours of new programming a week and you can listen 'on-demand'  by visiting their web-site, subscribing to them on your iPhone, or subscribing to their podcasts on iTunes.  

We are so thankful for their faithfulness to the gospel and for the tremendous resource they have been to us in our discipleship and catechesis.  They're funny and smart and so down-to-earth.   This is christian radio like you've never heard it.  This is christian radio that men will listen to and learn from.   This is christian radio that is rough around the edges and authentic. This is christian radio that you can be proud of.  You will be challenged, inspired, possibly offended, encouraged, and instructed in the faith.  

If you're not subscribing, do it today, on their one year anniversary of producing their own show.  I'll be listening live today, from 4-6, from my computer,  by clicking the 'listen now' button on their website.    Join us in supporting men who proclaim Christ, and Him crucified!   

Todd, Jeff, Craig---we send you big Southern hugs (except for Steve, who's from MN---he sends a beer and a handshake) and hope you like your Tennessee paraphernalia, that should arrive today.   Thank you for being mentors to so many christian men.  We celebrate with you and stand with you in support as you continue to be faithful to the gospel of Christ!

And the little girls wanted to help us celebrate with a short vlog (video blog).

More on mentors later!  If you've given Issues a try, let me know!

The Hidden God

Repost from December 20, 2008.   And coming soon:  A guest post by Taylor Riden (from The Verity---that's my son ya know),  and Painted Patio Furniture Linky Party on Monday June 22nd.   Get busy now!

Caiti (now 16) at age 4

I've been reading a lot about the topic Christless christianity and how our inborn sinful nature is always bent towards self. We are by nature self-centered, self-focused and our perspective is always self oriented and is always distorted. Man's natural theology is, in Lutheran circles, called a theology of glory. The rich man and Lazarus would be a good example. The rich man seemingly had 'it all'.   He wore the finest garments, drank the finest wine and ate gourmet food. Lazarus, in contrast, is a poor beggar who waits for the crumbs to fall from the rich man's table. Based on just what you know on the surface, who is favored by God? We would often naturally conclude that the rich man must be favored by God.    And we would almost always, at least in our minds,  say  "Well, surely Lazarus has done something to deserve this".

A theology of glory likes to 'figure God out' and likes to use logic to determine how things are between God and I.  Don't we often think this about those who do not seem to have God's favor in this life? "Well, God must be trying to teach them something."   If we're blessed and making moral improvement, we must be 'right' with God.  And if not,  the opposite must be true. But as you know, in death the rich man finds himself in hell and Lazarus is comforted in the bosom of Abraham.   So can I look at my circumstances in life and tell how it is between God and I? How does God show His favor to those He loves? And how can I know if I have His favor? God hides His glory behind the weakness of the cross. And he shows His favor to us through the death and resurrection of His own son for our redemption. And I know I have His favor because I receive the gifts He has given in faith and thanksgiving. I am favored by God because of Jesus. Thus, a theology of the cross......interprets everything in my life......the blessings, the suffering, every circumstance through the perfect suffering of Christ on my behalf.

God's ways are hidden and paradoxical:

1. God hides His glory in the mundane elements of bread and wine. Jesus has withdrawn His visible presence from the earth. He is now the hidden God and we must depend on His word to know what He is about. So when God says "Take eat, this is my body", He is hidden, in-with-and under the bread. We don't 'see' Him there and it seems impossible to me that He is there. So I must trust His very own words and find comfort in His hidden presence in His Word and sacrements.

2. He hides His glory in the weakness of a baby. When He comes to earth, He does not come in glory but in the flesh. The very incarnation of Christ is so incredible to me. How can this be? It was scandalous then and seems scandalous now and so unlike how I would have chosen to reveal myself to the world. The smallness of God in a lowly manger on a lonely night greeted by mere animals and born of the travail and sweat of childbirth. This is God? Yes, this is the very essence of the truth of God. Humbled. Lowly. With His glory hidden. To bring to us our very salvation.

3. He hides Himself in our vocation. God achieves His means of serving and taking care of us through the hiddenness of others doing their vocation. So God hides himself in : a mother making dinner for her family; a father going to work everyday to provide; a doctor using his skills and knowledge to effect healing; a teacher teaching multiplication to her students; the garbage man collecting the trash. It all 'looks' and 'seems' so mundane.....but that is God at work in the world. Serving and taking care of His people.

So we must take heed to let the theologian of glory in all of us be crucified with Christ. We must accept God's ways as mysterious and hidden; as not yet revealed. Whether our circumstances bring us joy or suffering, our posture to God should be one of repentance.   We must learn to view our lives through the lens of the cross.  For in him are hidden all treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Col. 2:3)    He will come in glory someday and we await that day with great anticipation. But until then, He has hidden Himself in things that might seem ordinary and even mysterious to us: words, water, bread and wine.

Luther said that Our Lord does not want to be found outside Christ....so he hides Himself in order to be found only in the grace and mercy of Christ. He seldom comes where we expect or look for Him: in victory and glory and glitz. He comes where we do not expect him: in suffering, in shame, in humility, as a baby, in His word, in the water of baptism, in the elements of the Lord's Supper. God wants to be found in the words of the promise in Christ that give new life. If we find Him outside of Christ, we find Him in wrath.

The 'hidden' God is hidden in Christ....come to us in the flesh to bear our sin and be our Savior and who says "I am the way, the Truth and the life and no man comes to the Father except through Me."

Much of what goes on in modern Christianity seems very Christ-less; alot about 'me' instead of Christ 'for me'. We are favored by God because of Christ alone.

I credit the rare and sound doctrinal teaching of Issues, Etc, its' host Todd Wilken and an article he wrote on this subject,  and their many scholarly guests.  I can't seem to find the segment where these ideas were presented but I think the guest was Pastor Bill Cwirla.  I listened to this segment just this morning on Children and Worship and it was quite enlightening.  Bookmark their site and listen 'on demand' while you do your morning chores! I've been listening to this internet radio show for 3 years now and there is nothing else like it. They cover current issues in the news, current trends in christianity and sound Biblical doctrinal teaching.   Maybe you could listen while you paint your patio furniture!! Just a thought.

Why I'm not a feminist

 Sometimes I try to quietly sneek into the kitchen and very carefully remove ingredients and pans so as not to alert the small children.   They love to 'help' and insist on stirring and pouring and seasoning until the symphony of, 

'CanIhelp.Iwannadothat.It'smyturn.Shewon'tgivemethe spoon'

is enough to have you fishing for the pizza delivery number.   But as I remind myself that it's my job to teach them and as I envision them making their own greek goulash with caramelized onions one day,  I welcome the sous chefs gladly.   They scamper outside to snip some fresh herbs and then painstakingly cut the luscious mint and parsley with scissors, their minds and mouths working as hard as their fingers, with questions like "You like to cook, don't you mommy?" and  "Do you really like eggplant?''  

It's moments like these that I am fully aware that they are watching me.   They are learning to live their lives by watching how I live mine.  It's no small responsibility to bear.  This long circuitous journey that I have made through medical education, residency training and then a six year career in medical practice has finally brought me HOME.  Where I have struggled to find my way.   Where I am learning to 'serve my neighbor' in the most intimate but also seemingly mundane ways.   I entered this vocation ill-prepared and ill-advised on what it meant to be a full time homeaker.    And the questions that haunt me sometimes in the throws of laundry and dishes,  about whether I am using my gifts to their full potential,  are answered decidedly in those little eyes and hands helping me make dinner.   I am making a bold statement to them.  The vocation of motherhood is honorable;  instituted by God for the raising of children, for the domestication of men, and for the stabilization of society.  It is His design and I've learned that I am most 'female' and truly most fulfilled when I embrace and nurture this role as wife and mother.

 And that drove me to reread a few sections of a book that I read a few years ago called The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan.   Friedan is crowned with having started the second wave of the feminist movement and was the first president of the National Organization for Women (that's enough to make me skeptical).  I disagree with nearly every statement she makes in the book but in many ways, I'm glad I read it.   I understand the feminist movement a little more clearly and realize that I am a product of a generation of women who were told that they needed to find fulfillment outside the home.   Friedan compares housewifery to being in a 'comfortable concentration camp' and characterizes suburban housewives as chiefly unfulfilled, dependent women who have given up on intellectual interests and have no real impact on the major issues of society.   She makes a few valid points but for the most part I find her conclusions flawed and riddled with the biases of someone who is driven by an agenda. 

She comes across to me similiar to the way  most feminists do; projecting her own misery and lack of fulfillment onto the whole of the female population and placing blame on men,  religious institutions and society as a whole.  She admonishes women to leave the 

'comfortable concentration camp'  to work and to be educated so that they may contribute so society in a meaningful way, thus finding true fulfillment.   She says, "

A woman must create, out of her own needs and abilities, a new life plan, fitting in the love and children and home that have defined feminity in the past with the work toward a greater purpose that shapes the future".p. 338

Well, speaking from experience, I have never felt that I was contributing more meaningfully to society than when I decided to put my own career on hold to be home with my children.  Any 'ole Joe can refill Ralph's prescription for hypertension, but I am the most uniquely qualified and gifted person to raise my own children and to love and serve my husband.   Noone else can do that with the same passion and care.   So, I want to stand up for all educated, professional women who have made an informed and conscious choice to give their lives in service to their families.   I applaud you.   What you do is important and powerful and instituted by God himself.   There is no higher calling.   There is no greater work.  

  

Disclaimers:   I am not in any way admonishing that every female should do what I have done.  I am blessed with a husband who is able to provide for us financially, making it possible for me to enjoy this tremendous blessing.   If I need to enter the force again, I will do what is necessary for our family.    Nor am I casting judgement on women who have chosen different paths.   It has been my experience that in our society,  it's the SAHM who feels a certain inferiority and who frequently questions her decision to stay home.   There are many creative ways to combine outside work with home responsibilities and I personally know many women who do a fantastic job of it.  When I was in the work force, I embraced the unique femininity that I brought to my vocation and tried above all else to keep my family first.   Similarly, just because a woman stays home is no guarantee that she's  embracing her role and nurturing her family to her best ability.   We are all sinners in need of forgiveness and whether or not we stay home or join the workforce, we do so riddled with sin and selfishness.   We all need God's grace to cover us and to give us true peace and joy!

I'll conclude with a quote from Plato:

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

The Love of the Father

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Times by Tenth Avenue North

I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, and its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you'
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?
oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
now you pulled me near you
when we're close i fear you
still im afraid to tell you
all that i've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord i'm so tired of defending
what i've become
what have i become?
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh. (repeat 4)
i hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends
mmm, mmm
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

The Slavery of Selfishness

So bound in selfishness am I, so chained,

I know it must be glorious to be free

But know not what, full-fraught, the word doth mean.

By loss on loss I have severely gained

Wisdom enough my slavery to see;

But liberty, pure, absolute, serene,

No freest-visioned slave has ever seen.

George McDonald  The Diary of an Old Soul

We are selfish creatures.   Selfish to the bone.  And as soon as we succeed a little at putting the needs and wants of others ahead of ourselves, we're thinking about how much we've sacrificed our time or our money or our dreams for someone else.  And we're plotting to get that time... or that money....or that dream back.  And maybe I shouldn't include you in my 'we'.   Maybe I can only speak for the profoundly selfish tendencies I see in myself.   You'd think that motherhood would have cured me of this.  But it hasn't.  I still viciously protect certain things in my life,  that I forbid even mothering to encroach upon.  I want some time 'to myself'.  I want some things 'to myself'.   If we're brutally honest, we spend most of our lives making provisions for our own selfish desires.   Even the love we have for our children is tainted with selfishness. We want them to look and dress and act the right way.   And even all those hours we spend toting them around to lessons,  seemingly a selfless act, is riddled with selfishness.  We want them to be the best at whatever they do.  Partly because it reflects well on us.  

Have you ever noticed that when you tell a story that involves you, the tendency is to portray yourself in the best possible light.  We will sacrifice almost anything at the altar of self-preservation.   And I know, I know what you're gonna say.    And it's true.   It's the way we're made.   At least it's the way we've been since the fall of Adam in the garden.  We are turned in on ourselves.   We can only see things from our own selfish perspective.   

Oh how I long for the day when I am free from the shackles and tyranny  of this 'slavery' as McDonald calls it. 

 But until then, I am determined to practice.   Today, I will purposely, and with reckless abandon,  practice giving myself away.  I will pray for God's strength to see with new eyes the needs of others.   I will ask His wisdom in showing me how to be a servant.   How to see the world through another's eyes.  I will echo the beautiful words of George McDonald as I pray for God to do for me what I cannot do for myself.  

From thine, as then, the healing virtue goes

Into our hearts-that is the Father's plan.

From heart to heart it sinks, it steals, it flows,

From these that know thee still infecting those.

Here is my heart--from Thine, Lord, fill it up,

That I may offer it as the holy cup

Of thy communion to my every man.

Self-Feeding (Centered?) Christianity?

I should preface all this by saying that this post was informed and inspired by a recent segment on Issues, Etc titled The Decline of American Evangelicalism, where he interviews Dr. David Wells, author of The Courage to be Protestant.  You can listen to it here. I'm probably a little behind the times, but I've only in the last few months heard the term 'self-feeding' as it relates to christianity.   The church growth gurus, including Bill Hybels, have come to the conclusion (from their REVEAL study) that the church growth movement has been inadequate in making disciples of Christ.  Their new  'business plan' in Hybels' own words is this:

We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and became Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching people that they have to take responsibility to become ‘self feeders.’ We should have gotten people, taught people, how to read their bible between service, how to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.........Our dream is that we fundamentally change the way we do church. That we take out a clean sheet of paper and we rethink all of our old assumptions.

There are several things that trouble about me these statements.  The first is the concept of 'changing the way we do church', as if church were a man-made institution that are we free to 'do with' what we will.   As Todd Wilken (Lutheran pastor and host of Issues) has frequently said, "We did not invent church, nor are we free to reinvent it".  I guess the fundamental question then must be asked.    What is church?   Ask ten christians that question today and you are likely to get ten different answers.  But really, what is church?  What is its' mission and purpose?  Can we make it into anything we want?   Should it be culturally relevant?  Should it be 'marketed'?  Has it become just another casualty of modern capitalism?   Arthur Just was recently on Issues talking about true christian worship.  He reminds us that from earliest times, even in ancient Judaism,  worship was centered on teaching followed by eating (what we call Word and Sacrament).   These structures of worship continued even during the time of Jesus in the feeding of the 5000, the Last Supper, and in the Acts 2 church;

Acts 2:42  They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship,  and to the breaking of bread and the prayers.

Furthermore, for nearly 2,000 years, christian worship centered around Christ, His word and His body and blood given in the Sacrament.  It has never tried to be culturally relevant.....until the last hundred years or so.  Christianity is counter-cultural.   And I don't think we are free to decide 'how to do church'.   It is Christ's institution where He makes disciples through the washing of water combined with His word, in Baptism,  and where He feeds His flock with His Word and Sacrament.   That is church.   And though the specifics of how congregations do that may vary,   the essentials should be the same.   We are not permitted to start with our own clean slate and reinvent it in order to grow some super size church.  It is His church and He will grow it, if we let Him.  And I reluctantly say that what we 'grow' on our own, with our marketing schemes and fancy programs may not be church at all, despite what the sign says out front or how many people show up to participate.

Then there's the concept of self-feeding.   I think I understand what he means by the term but I don't think it gives an adequate picture of what's happening in personal bible study.   I opened my Bible this morning and read the first seven chapters of John.  Was I self-feeding? When the shepherd leads his flock to green, fertile pastures and they begin eating, are they self-feeding?   Maybe in some basic sense of the word, but let's not take credit for what He is doing for us in His word.  He is feeding us with Himself.   We are the recipients of His most holy mercy and grace in the forgiveness of our sins. 

And when these 'growth-driven' churches have all but abandoned the true preaching of God's word and the administration of the Sacraments, is there any surprise when their own studies fail to show those methods effective in making disciples?   Christ gave us the formula Himself  when He said, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and lo I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

And where has He promised to be?  In John 6:51-63, he says,

"I am the living bread that came down from heaven.  Whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh."  The Jews said, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?"   So Jesus said to them, "Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.  Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.  Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them.....The one who eats this bread will live forever."   

When many of the disciples heard this, they said, "This teaching is difficult;  who can accept it?"

His words seem so clear.  He has given us our sustenance.   In His very Word and in His very body and blood in the Lord's Supper.   I agree with the disciples.  This teaching is difficult and there isn't one Sunday when I approach the rail for communion that I wonder, 'Can this really be true'.  I can only accept it on faith.   I can only take Him at His word.  

So, as I see it,  it comes down to this.  Will we feed ourselves (through programs and self-help seminars and shwanky church growth methods) or will He feed us?   That is the question.  My attempts at 'self-feeding' over the past twenty years have brought nothing but despair to me, obscuring the all-availing work of Christ on my behalf.  My time spent in 'seeker-sensitive, growth-driven' churches left me hungering and left me wondering if there wasn't more to christianity than I could seem to muster up on any given day.   I have been receiving regular communion and regular law/gospel sermons for almost three years now and the difference couldn't be more stark.   I am not more spiritual now.  Not by a long shot.  But I am much more keenly aware of my sin and of my utter dependence on the nourishment that Christ gives us when He gives Himself in Word and Sacrament.   He is the very bread of life.  And when you eat of it, you shall never hunger.

Happy Mother's Day

Steve and I want to wish our mothers a most blessed day. Thank you for how you have nurtured and nourished us. Thank you for the gift of life. You have ministered the grace of God to us in profound ways. We love you.

Enjoy this repost from last fall and have a wonderful Mother's Day!

"I am so glad that you have come. I will pour out everything inside me so you may leave this table satisfied and fortified. Blessings on your eyes. Blessings on your children. Blessings on the ground beneath you. My heart is a ladle of sweet water, brimming over."
Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

This is one of my favorite quotes........from one of my all-time favorite books, The Red Tent. The book is work a of fiction about the life of Dinah.....the only daughter of Jacob. (taken from the account in Genesis). It's a fantastic book and I highly recommend it. I have this quote printed on pretty paper, framed and sitting on my kitchen counter, right beside where I cook. It helps me---when I'm tired or stressed and trying to make food----to remember how I feel about those who sit at my table everyday. It reminds me to not just go through the motions of cooking.....but to do it with joy and gladness so that I can truly 'serve' those I love......literally nurturing and sustaining them. And you know what? It makes the food taste better. I'm sure of it. Isn't our attitude about things powerful like that?

I was listening to this yesterday on my favorite radio show, Issues Etc., and it helped me to see....for the first time ever.....that a wife really is a picture of the bride of Christ.....the Church. She is the means by which God gives birth to its members through the regeneration of baptism and the means by which He sustains and nourishes its members through the very body and blood of Christ at the Lord's Supper. So my vocation of wife and mother is not trivial. And my uniqueness as the life-giving, life-sustaining source in this family is so important to God..... so important.....that he compared it to His Church....whom He loved enough to give His very life for.

Isn't that what we as women have the freedom and privilege to do.....to "pour out everything inside us"? I feel a little like that about blogging. We share ourselves and our hearts with each other.....to nourish and sustain ourselves and those we love. Your blogs and your words are like that for me....."sweet water, brimming over". So, read the quote again......and be blessed today.

And cook that meatloaf with love, baby!

The Fall

I don't know if I've ever told you about this place. A magical little sanctuary that Stevie labored countless months and years over. A quaint little cottage that he had built for us in the middle of beautiful mountainous country, with a spring fed pond he researched and designed and personally stocked with all kinds of fish and a water trampoline. Paradise. Or pretty close.

Someone decided to trample on our dreams. They came in and took nearly everything 'but the kitchen sink' and this little sign.

Our little slice of Eden went from this....

to this.....overnight. And ditto for every other room.

We made the hours' drive in a somber state of disbelief. We spent the day sifting through broken glass and precious memories. I guess the parallels are endless, but this is what happens in Eden. Everytime. The dream is fleeting. Paradise eludes us. At least for now.

But there is something about suffering that brings joy. And my words will fail to communicate what happened in my heart yesterday. But God is faithful. His mercies are new every morning. Reaching in to give us hope, and life, and salvation.

I am His child.

And He has not left me alone.

He will restore Eden. In His time.

This song is dedicated to a man whose strength continually surprises me, whose love is redemptive and whose compassion for my ever present tears these days is heroic.

We will get through this. All of this. Together.  And when I count my blessings, you are first in line.

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Thank you for all the kind thoughts and prayers I know you're sending our way!

Worship Wars: A Case for Classical Worship

Have you ever asked yourself why your church worships the way it does?   Would you call the worship style contemporary or traditional?   Some might say it's possible that the method or medium of worship is neutral, but I would fancy to say that at the heart of every form of worship, there is a theology driving it.   If that is true, then the real question is what is the theology that drives it?   My background as a fundamentalist, then evangelical,  and now Lutheran has given me a deeper look into many and varied forms of christian worship.   There are parts about them all that I think have some redeeming qualities, but I have never  been challenged to think as much about the mode of worship and its implications as I have since becoming Lutheran.  I thank my pastor and IssuesEtc. for that.  There was a recent segment on Issues, which you can listen to here that seemed to sum it up so well.  This segment was based on a article written by Bill Cwirla titled 10 Reasons Why We Use the Liturgy which you can read here.   I'll just give you the cliff notes but I highly recommend you listen to the very informative discussion.

1.  We have handed down to us a tradition that is 2,000 years old with elements dating back even to Jewish worship in the synagogue.  As Pastor Cwirla points out,  'we are not the first christians to walk the face of the earth'---and those things handed down to us, which do not obscure the pure gospel of Christ, should be preserved.  This is why the Lutheran church 'looks' so Roman Catholic.  The conservative reformation only did away with elements of the worship that obscured the gospel.   Every thing else stayed.

2.  The liturgy (historic form of worship) is Christ-centered.  From beginning to end, it is filled with direct passages of scripture, songs and hymns that are either directly from scripture or paraphrases of scripture (the creeds), with the culmination being the Lord giving us His body and blood for the forgiveness of sins.   It might be possible to have a contemporary style service that is Christ-centered, but I've rarely seen it done.   The focus tends to be more on the people--the singers, the pastor---rather than on Christ.  Often the focus of the sermons are man-centered instead of focusing on the objective work of Christ for us.  In most Lutheran churches, everything from the placement of the pulpit off to the side to the central location of the cross and the Lord's table, teaches us that Christ is the focus of our worship.

3.  "The liturgy teaches the whole counsel of God - creation, redemption, sanctification, Christ’s incarnation, passion, resurrection, and reign, the Spirit’s outpouring and the new life of faith. Every liturgical year cycles through these themes so that the hearer receives the “whole counsel of God” on a regular basis."   This seems like such an important point to me--moving stepwise through scripture, so that by the end of the cycle, all of scripture has been covered in some form.   Otherwise, it seems that our own chosen 'themes' seem to become the focus----a 10 week study on 'the family' or  ' 12 weeks to a better marriage' .   It seems strange that we have a wonderful, inspired Word of God, chocked full of stories of redemption pointing us toward Christ, and yet we think we somehow know better or can do better than that.    His word is sharp and active and never returns to Him void;  it is the perfect template for how to order our worship and how to systematically instruct believers.

4. "It is repetitive in a good way. Repetition is, after all, the mother of learning. Fixed texts and annual cycles of readings lend to deep learning. Obviously, mindless repetition does not accomplish anything; nor does endless variety. "  This is probably the number one complaint I here about liturgical worship.  But I can tell you that with two little ones learning the liturgy along beside me, there is something so special about your children being able to sing and say the liturgy by heart.   And because most of the liturgy is taken directly from scripture, they are 'hiding God's word in their hearts'.   C.S. Lewis compared the liturgy to a dance.  Only after memorizing the steps is one able to truly dance and enjoy it;  those things which we memorize or learn 'by heart' are usually those things which we really know in a deep and lasting way.

5. "It rescues us from the here and now".   Following the historical liturgy removes us from following the headlines of the news in our church life.   We follow Christ's word instead, which never changes, and is always pertinent to our lives.   

"In the liturgy, the Word sets the agenda, defining our needs and shaping our questions. The temptation is for us to turn stones into bread to satisfy an immediate hunger and scratch a nagging spiritual itch, but the liturgy teaches us to live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."  

6.  "It is external and objective."   We are given God's word and His body and blood for the forgiveness of sins.  We come empty-handed to His table, receive the gifts He gives and then we give Him thanks for those gifts.  None of it depends on us or  how we 'feel' about the worship service.  And what a relief; to know that know matter what pitiful unspiritual state we are in, we leave church with God's greatest gifts, poured out to us freely, for the sake of Christ alone. We don't have to gin up any super-spirituality.   We are completely on the receiving end of life and forgiveness.  It changes how we look at our whole life of faith.   We are beggars at His table.  All of us.  We never leave saying, "I didn't get much out of it."  We leave the Lord's house and His table satisfied with what He has provided, lacking and wanting for nothing; the blessed recipients of His very life poured into us.

I hope Pastor Cwirla forgives me for butchering his list a little, but I think it behooves us to see the theology behind what we do.   If we think we come to worship to 'give something to God', then the worship style will reflect that.   If we come knowing that He is the giver of all good gifts, then we come ready to receive the wonderful redemption He has bought for us in Christ; given to us in Word and Sacrament.   Going from contemporary to liturgical worship is a bit like learning to listen to Bach after spending twenty years singing catchy praise songs.  It does not appeal instantly to the emotions.  You can't 'get it all' in one or years, let alone one or two visits.  It is deep and layered and will certainly take a while to seep into your soul. Eventually, you will find yourself spoiled.  Ten verses of  "I Surrender All" won't hold a candle to "A Mighty Fortress is our God".   You will find yourself asking the question, "Am I really the one who surrenders all.....or is it Christ.....who surrenders all for me?"

I realize that in this postmodern world where church growth is king, posts like this will not be very popular.  But it does give us cause to think.   The methods we use are not neutral---they carry with them an implied message.   We should at least ponder the ramifications of that message.  I would love to hear your thoughts.

Grace and Parenting

Gracie and I--7 years ago

One of the speakers at the homeschool conference had a session titled 'The Education of a Child--the Wisdom of Fenelon.  I was intrigued--so I ordered the book on Amazon before the trip and read it on the way.   Francois Fenelon was an archbishop in the Catholic church in France in the late 17th century, along with being a writer and poet.   One of his books, called  'The Education of a Daughter'  is fascinating if you can lay aside your feminist sensibilities long enough to get past lines like this,  "...they need not be learned, per se...it is sufficient if they (girls) know how to govern their families and obey their husbands without reason".    I am not easily offended, so I read on, and am certainly glad I did.  His overarching message for parents:  grace and unconditional love, exercised with humility, reaches a child's heart, and not just his behavior.

The speaker, Mark Hamby, from Lamplighter publishing, used Fenelon's points to drive home the idea that parenting is about seeking relationship and not merely behavior from our children.  Far too often, I find myself so determined to achieve a certain level of obedience and respect from them, that I'm oblivious to what is really at the heart of their 'discord'.  And admittedly, the desire for prompt obedience is often self-centered.  We want our children to make us look good;  to prove to the world that we are indeed good parents.   We're so afraid of letting them make mistakes.   We parent them more like drill sargents than we do loving mothers and fathers.   Have we not been given the unconditional love of our heavenly Father?  Do we not defy and disobey and display profound ingratitude to Him daily?  And what does He do?  He welcomes us with open arms.....the arms of One who poured out His life for us on the cross to ransom us.   He forgives and forgets.  His mercies are new to us every morning.  God gives us grace, pressed down, shaken together, running over and  yet we measure out to our children tiny doses of mercy laced with hosts of rules and scoldings and "I told ya so's".

Our authority should be exercised with humility.  Christ is our supreme example:  His humility cost him His very life.  We often associate authority with power and might, but as C.S. Lewis once said,   

"Authority exercised with humility and obedience accepted with delight are the very lines along which our spirits live."

   We must surrender our need to always be right and humble ourselves in service to our children.   As foreign as that may sound, that is exactly what our Father has done for us.  He could have come in power, seized upon our frailties and weaknesses and demanded right behavior.  But instead, He took on human flesh and died that we might have life.  

Does this grace and humility mean that we have no rules, no boundaries.  On the contrary.   Those whom the Lord loves He chastens.    It is our primary job to 'discipline' our children, but that word means 'teach'.   I think we often jump right to 'punish'---which should be reserved for extreme cases of direct defiance.  Likewise, God has given us rules, that if followed, will lead to happiness and unity.  His standards are incredibly high, as should ours be for our children.  But the final answer does not lie in following the rules.  He has not been content to see our behavior realigned.   He went to every length to reach our hearts:  His grace and mercy cannot be exhausted.  

You might think that I am providing the solution to our parenting conundrum as a simple 'Show more grace to your children'.   I am not.

 The solution is always Christ.   I will always fail to bestow enough grace.  I will always, even in my best attempts, fail to love them unconditionally.  The real answer for us all is the forgiveness and mercy of  the One perfect parent, whose love has no limits and whose grace knows no bounds.

  

He alone can restore the years.

I'm linking with Emily from Chatting at the Sky as we celebrate 'thankfulness' and 'noticing'. You'll love her blog!

Welcome back!

A few things I learned during my comment-fast:

1. As soon as I typed the words "I'm closing my comments during Lent", I instantly regretted it and wondered if I'd be able to hold out for forty days. I knew it would change blogging for me. I knew it would help to clarify the 'medium' of blogging---that it would solidify in my mind the fact that this medium is not neutral. It conveys certain information better than others. It favors short inspirational blurbs and beautiful photographs. There are temptations lurking everywhere but especially those that threaten to steal our time. Time that might be better spent with our 'in-the-flesh' family and friends or reading a great book or serving our neighbor. I developed a healthy 'detachment' during the Lenten season that enabled me to step back and regroup. That said, I still love this community. I still love to write.

2. Who knew that with the closing of comments would come a curious case of writer's block? Apparently your feedback motivates and inspires me to write---and without it, I don't seem to be bringing my A game. So, I'm glad you're back. I've missed your encouragement. Maybe I'll get my 'mojo' back.

3. I have used the 'extra' time I've had productively. Be patient as I readjust and try to hang on to the balance and priorities I nurtured during Lent. Inevitably something suffers when we try to 'do it all'.

4. This 'fast' of sorts helped to set the rhythm for Lent and even if just in a teeny way, was a good exercise in denial of the flesh. The flesh wants to be gratified.....instantly......in every way. And sometimes just the smallest denial is enough to gain momentum against its onslaught. Do I think I became more 'spiritual' because of this. Absolutely not. If anything, I became more keenly aware of how weak and undisciplined I can be. Thanks be to God that He has given salvation to us freely through faith in Christ. When I am weak, He is strong.

In other news, I decided to forego the expensive and generic senior pictures/senior announcements and do it on my own. I did a little photo shoot with Taylor and got some great pics to use for his open house invitations and his announcements......

this one's my favorite

I've also been FRETTING over paint colors for a week. I'm still not exactly sure what I'm choosing.....but when I go to Lowe's at 7 am, I'm sure I'll pick the right cabinet/wall/ceiling colors for my kitchen. By the time you read this, it'll be too late for you to help me but I'll be sure to show you the progress!

One more thing. We are going to the Midwest Homeschooling Convention later this week. I'm so excited to hear Susan Wise Bauer, Jim Weiss, Jay Wile, Mark Hamby and others. Do you have any advice for me? Have you ever been or better yet, are you gonna be there? Are there any other speakers that I must hear?

So now it's your turn. If you've never introduced yourself before, I'd love to hear from you. If you're an 'old friend', then reassure me that I can make it through this week; I'm having some painting done in my kitchen, going to Cincinnati for the homeschooling convention, and my two teenagers are going to prom this Saturday!!!